I know people are probably tired of me saying I need a miracle, but I'll say it again and probably keep saying it till I get it, I need a miracle.  I need a miracle.  I need a miracle.  I need a miracle. I'm overdue for a miracle. I'm overdue for a miracle.

I've been hearing people not in the room or on the phone with me, talking to me since 2007. Started when I was 32 years old and has never stopped, except for maybe 2 months in 2008,  I'm 47 years old now.  I'm owed money for the harassment, especially when it first started. I know, it sounds like I have schizophrenia and if I told you what I think it is, know it is, you'd think I have schizophrenia. 

It's been hell, and I've been mostly unemployed, except for some substitute teaching.  But really, it just seems I've been unemployed the whole time (2007 till today, April 3, 2022).  

It's been hell.

I'm on medicine for the "schizophrenia."  Doesn't help because it's not the disorder.

I was delivering Chinese food and a $1 bill was given to me that said, "We 💗 You" and "You don't need makeup."  I had been saying I needed make-up. Then another time, I was passed a $5 with the name Kevin Bacon on it, and I have wanted a movie made about my mom and for Kevin to play one of her doctors.

Somehow I hear people and they hear me. Not sure how. Heard it has something to do with a satellite. I never heard voices before until 2007.  Never.

Supposedly this guy I went out with in 1995 or 1996, and he got pissed that I said No to a 2nd date and to being friends.  I don't understand all of this. I have more questions than answers. He has people talking to me that I want to see and hear in a normal way.  Important people and law enforcement know. I can't prove anything.  The cards are stacked against me in my notion that it's not schizophrenia and is what I say.  

I'm alone in all this and have been since it started in 2007.  2007.

 I just looked over a blog I started on Blogger in 2008.  There were volumes of posts.  Wanted to post the blog on FB, but there's some stuff I don't want out there now.  Some of it is OK but not other parts. 

Facebook friends, or "friends" may be my audience here. You may know the story but I'll refresh just in case, in a few.

Lost my Intervention Specialist job in 2007. Special Education Teacher.  Applied and Applied and Interviewed and Interviewed.  No job as an Intervention Specialist for that coming school year nor in the coming years.  2007--When the nightmare I live began.

 So, should I go through each of the 15 years or just today?

I'll start with today.

I quit a job about 3 weeks ago. Then, I got a windfall. Can live for a couple months. Just a couple. On the great Next Job Hunt.  Was supposed to go to a Staffing Agency today but they called and said they filled the job. So, I don't have to go anywhere today--YAY!  Have to find the good in things. 

I can't seem to keep a job. Get one, can't do it for some reason, and I quit. Job--Nope.  

Tyler Perry is on the Kelly Clarkson show. I wrote to him a couple times since 2020.

God.

I have nothing. Nothing to say. Drawing a blank. 

I took a vocational survey yesterday to try to see what I'd be good at, in a job, and Writer was a suggestion.  I enjoy writing, just expressing myself, but right now, I'm drawing that blank.

Oh, yeah--refreshing you. 

Had this terrific job at Domino's Pizza, delivering, starting in 2017. Paid my bills and had enough left over. But, I was pulled over by State Highway Patrol for a license plate violation on March 14 of 2020 at 1 a.m. and got an OVI. I don't drink alcohol or do drugs.  Just in case anyone would still wonder, had not done those things that night. And yes, when you get an OVI, you get arrested. I got arrested.  The charge came down to a Reckless Driving Minor Misdemeanor, and I lost my job at Domino's because you have to have a clean driving record to deliver there. 2020.

I lived on Financial Blessings that year. In March of 2021, I took a job that I ended up hating, loathing and despising.  Left there in November for Allstate, was supposed to get licensed as a P/C agent and couldn't go along with the studying. Got offered a very good paying job at Spectrum Cable/Charter Communications in February and left the Allstate.  Left Spectrum about three week ago. (oh, I had a 2 jobs in October of 2020)

So, the last two years have sucked, and I fear my future. 

II have a story to tell. I'm wondering if I tell my story here if it will get in the way if I ever decide to write a book.

Maybe I shouldn't tell.

So, this was today. Sitting on the couch with my Chihuahua nestled into my leg and one of my cats on the couch. Watching my peeps on General Hospital and Kelly Clarkson.

God.